just found this one, don't know if its true but its good....
Lighton Ndefwayl - tennis
What happened: He lost a match to rival Musumba Bwayla.
What was the excuse: "Bwayla is stupid and a hopeless player. Girls hate him. He beat me as my jockstrap was too tight and because when he serves he farts."
He could have a whole article of his own. Back in 2007......
Sven-Goran Eriksson has called Stephen Ireland "stupid" after the Manchester City midfielder pretended his grandmother had died in order to get out of a crucial international match. Ireland then became entangled in a web of deceit so extraordinary that his professional reputation may have been irretrievably damaged.
Ireland issued an apology last night after admitting he had made up a reason to be excused from the Republic of Ireland's 1-0 defeat in the Czech Republic on Wednesday, in order to visit his "lonely" girlfriend in Cork. He also asked Eriksson, his club manager, for his compassionate leave to be extended to this weekend, indicating he would not be able to play against Aston Villa tomorrow because he was still grieving and had to help with funeral arrangements.
When journalists discovered earlier this week that Ireland's maternal grandmother, Patricia Tallon, was alive and well - and shocked to read about her death in the newspapers - Ireland changed his story to say his paternal grandmother, Brenda Kitchener, had died. She, in turn, read about her own death and at least one newspaper was reportedly threatened with legal action by relatives on Thursday. Ireland is then understood to have changed his story again, this time claiming that one of his grandfathers was divorced and that it was his elderly partner who had died. That was also exposed as a lie.
"I decided at that stage that I must tell the truth and admit I had told lies," Ireland said. "I realise now that it was a massive mistake to say my grandmothers had died and I deeply regret it. It was wrong and I sincerely apologise as I have caused a lot of problems for many people. I would like to apologise to my grandmothers and all my family. I have learnt a valuable lesson from this mess and hope those I have hurt will forgive me."
When Vitas Gerulaitis faced Jimmy Connors at the 1979 Masters their head-to-head record was 16-0 to Connors. Gerulaitis won the match, then came out with this...
"And let that be a lesson to you all. Nobody beats Vitas Gerulaitis 17 times in a row!"
Not an excuse I know, but one of my favourite sport quotes.
Vladimir Romanov in response to one of Hearts' players being placed on the sex offenders register
THE Hearts board - led by owner Vladimir Romanov - issued a bizarre statement last night that accused the "mafia" of destabilising the club.
They said: "What's happening with the club today is not a new thing. For almost seven years, we have been fighting to shield the club from crooks, criminals and thieves.
"Many of the top players at the club have felt the bitter results of the swindles that have been carried out with them on their own skin.
"Skacel and Webster have returned to the club after realising where these 'football patriots' have led them.
"Over a short space of time, four players at our club have been on the wrong end of the law. We note that three of them are represented by the same agent - Gary Mackay - who has been so vicious in his attacks against Mr Romanov.
"Taking into account the facts that have been omitted by the media, it can be presumed that each of these cases is not a coincidence, but the result of targeted actions of a mafia that wants to manipulate the club and the results.
"Every year Hearts fights to be in the top three, but even last season in the last 12 games of the season it was almost like someone replaced the team with a different one. Whose fault is that? Players? Manager's? Or it is mafia.
"Stealing players, bad games, problems with the law - all of that on top of record SFA fines. Problems are just shifted to another level.
"Mafia are dragging kids into the crime, in order to blackmail and profit on them. It is not possible to separate these people from paedophiles and you don't need to do that. Each year we are forced to fight these maniacs harder and harder.
"We are standing in their way, not letting them manipulate the game of football in the way they want. As such they undermine us in every possible way they can.
"The task of the club is to tear these kids out of hands of criminals."
Mackay - who played a record 737 games for Hearts - declined to comment.