Judging by his output during a tumultuous 85 days on twitter, Joey Barton believes he has a brain that could bring down governments. From his vaunted position as unwanted midfielder at relegation fodder Newcastle United, he holds forth on the topics of the day like the tragically familiar pub drunk. As he continually engages in inane confrontations that he is provoked into by spotlight hungry hacks, the dynamic has come to resemble that of the high school face off. The popular jock (423,309 followers) uses his status as Big Man on Campus to denounce those irritating “nerds with words” (journalists) who, in actual fact, reflect the views of the masses i.e. that the jock is actually a bit of a cock.
At first Barton was moderately engaging, sharing light hearted badinage with intellectual luminaries such as Piers Morgan and Eamonn Holmes, whilst confronting those heinous football journalists that for so many years had done him down without reproach. We learned that he had interests outside of the game as he divulged information about his racing horse and passions for philosophy and guitar music. ‘What a normal guy, I must have been mislead by those dastardly red tops in my perception of Joseph’ the Twitterati seemed to say as his followers began to stack up, “43120 followers in 1 day!!!!!! I truly am humbled” So he had his audience, and his opportunity to demonstrate that a new leaf had indeed been turned over. And while his vain attempts to feed us misinformation became more apparent in their desperation
Sitting eating sushi in the city, incredibly chilled out reading Nietzsche. #stereotypicalfootballer
I was actually finding this stuff pretty funny. His smug use of #hashtags to tell us what he really means, as if his irascible wit is of such convoluted genius that the caveat of a hash tag is mandated to allow the proles an understanding of his jape. Oh what fun, Joseph. But a short shelf life is guaranteed for any fraud, no matter how amusing or controversial.
There were rumblings and warnings, of course. Spats with various journalists threatened to cast off this mask of philosophy and Japanese cuisine fuelled serenity as he became entrenched in disputing the longevity of his assailants’ industry, the comparative merits of the battling troupes journalistic and football abilities, and their choice of hair bands. The inevitable moment came last week as a dull and flaccid Premier League affair was lit up by the boiling despot Joey Barton. Following a game with little else to talk about than Barton’s indiscretions (Barton had thrown himself to the floor following the most innocuous of slaps in order to get an opponent sent off) onto twitter he duly marched, providing a perfect case study in why the site is so compelling; in these restrained, media-managed times where every aspect of a footballers image is controlled and restricted, with super-injunctions acting like the libero of the legal world, twitter allows the mask to slip:
hate CHEATS that dive to win pens. If theres contact go down but dont blatantly try to con the ref. Refs have it hard enough
I d actually pay good money to watch any journo play 1 half of premier league football in front of 52,000 people. #squeekybumtime
I'd take u apart in 2 mins. Extra large mandible (woolnough). U are intellectually inferior in many ways. Also emotionally and mentally
The inevitable meltdown had arrived as Barton railed against current and former footballers who had questioned his ridiculous antics, whilst threatening to ‘take apart’ a football journalist. And it had all started so well...
Jon Ronson recently released a book called The Psychopath Test that discusses the use of the Hare Psychopath test to classify psychopaths. In his twitter exchanges following the Gervinho incident, I calculate that JB demonstrates 10 of the 20 factors (Glibness/superficial charm, Pathological lying, Cunning/manipulative, Lack of remorse or guilt, Callousness, Lack of empathy, Failure to accept responsibility for own actions, Poor behavioral control, Impulsivity, Irresponsibility). Undone by the very tool that he assumed would lead to redemption; Joey Barton is a psychopath and twitter proves it.
Add a Comment